Its March!

So, spring is supposedly in the air! However, it's still some bitter cold days here in Texas. This year however has been off to a pretty good start. So far to date, I've lost a total of 11lbs! Woo hoo! Didn't think I'd even go that far! Lets see, been impressive at work from what I've been told lately. Have a boost of self-confidence and making more friends. I've been very fortunate with money lately and making it so that's wonderful! Now, why didn't I think it was gonna be all that this year?

Doubt. I always being to doubt myself when I think things aren't going well. Ironically, I also doubt myself when things are going great! Only because, usually when things are at their best, its usually something terrible that brings it all crashing down.

Hopefully that will not be the case this year. I'm praying for a good, uneventful year! By uneventful, I mean no bad news, no tragedies, no heart-break- nothing of that kind! Now, if there are good things to come; by all means LET THEM COME! I love good news and happy things! Even though today's world can really bring you down, that doesn't mean you always have to be down!

I feel pretty good right now; I just finished a quick 45 minute work out and whenever I do work out, it always changes my attitude. I owe lotsa that to John, the big lug. He really did spark something in me and I'm liking it more and more.

In any case, life has been pretty good so far. I find that the more I throw myself into my work, home and at the office, I have become very distant. Its so strange, I strive to make it in this world and yet I feel so distant to people around me. I don't want to become robotic; I have 2 uncles like that and they will never know what family means because their work always comes first. I love my family and I would do anything for them. I hope they know that.

My mom asked me a couple of weeks ago; "Why do you want to be rich?" My response was: "I don't want to be rich, I want to be recognized. The money is just an incentive." I always have felt that in order to prove my worth I have to be recognized. I have to make the effort to do more than the average person. To dream outside the norm, live outside the box and create my own path and achievements. Is that wrong? In my perspective no. Although some people are very satisfied with their day to day lives and want nothing more than a family and a comfortable lifestyle.

Do I want that? Of course I do. I just want to make it look a little nicer and dress it up with my recognition. Perhaps I'm chasing a dream, and if so, I will do all that is possible to make it a reality. Did I mentioned that I'm very determined? So damned determined and stubborn, its hard for me to accept that my best was indeed my very best. I've been told by my husband that yes, "I do try to hard." or, "I'm too hard on myself." Yes, I know I am. But how else are you supposed to climb the ladder of success if you're not?

Want to go somewhere? No one will take you up there except Y-O-U. Think about it....

- Nita